Leave me the hell alone...

That's me lately in a nutshell. I just want to be left alone. Wherever I am. I don't know if it's the weather since seasonal changes seems to affect my mood moreso than anything else but damn, I am irritable lately. I should be happy, I just lost 5.5 lbs in 3 days got back on the healthy eating track, worked out two days in a row (including today) so that leaves me with one question....where the hell are those endorphins?

But no...not me. I am not happy. In fact, after sitting down from my workout I am miserable. Writing this blog is annoying me. I intended to talk about my fitness goals and where I go from here...I guess I should get right to it, otherwise I'll be posting stuff like this:

Speaking of which, I NEED this shirt.

So fitness goals. I am going to amp up the cardio and hope to burn some fat. I'll keep doing Les Mills Combat which I love. Luckily, there are three versions I can rotate through. A 30 min for when I'm pressed for time, a 45 min one when I have a bit more time and a 60 min one when I'm feeling energetic and ambitions - I'll probably save those for the weekend. Thinking of doing 60 minutes after working all day and not starting until at least 8pm doesn't sound too appealing to me. And, forget working out in the morning. I have never been and will never be a morning person. Kudos to those who get up at 4:00am to get their workout in. For one thing, I'm a complete weirdo in that I would never be able to get up and just workout. I need coffee. I need a shower. Yes, a shower before I work out which then means I would have to shower again just 30 minutes later. Defeats the purpose I know but what can I say.

True story. There's a handful of people who know this. I have weird eating habits, I do weird things. Sue me. I'm me. Love me or leave me...the hell alone.

And we've come full circle to the title of this blog post.

Not much more to say really. I'm going to try to set up a meal plan for myself to follow. As much as I hated the 3 day refresh foods because I was so freakin hungry, I realize that having a plan really helped me keep on track. There was no, oh hey let me go buy a bag of trail mix and eat out the chocolate covered soy nuts. Or let me go to Boscov's and get some Chocolate Bridge Mix. My weakness lately. Bridge Mix. Who knew? Wanna know something else weird I do? I don't eat the nuts or raisins in the bridge mix (except for the chocolate covered almonds.) What do I do? I suck off the chocolate and put the nut in a bag. Steve can attest to this disgustingness. I do it with all chocolate really. Peanut butter cups? Eat around the peanut butter, throw away said peanut butter.

See. A little insight into my bizarro existence. But, mmm now I want bridge mix.
Luckily all I have to make here is a little sugar free pop and some PB2.

And with that, I'm going to do just that.

Court

From Chaos Comes Clarity....

Or not.....

It is Day 2 and I am space cadet central.....

So we’re on Day 2 of this 3 Day Refresh. I gotta tell you, if I weigh myself on Wednesday and there is no change I am not going to be a happy camper. And then I will run to Whole Foods for Vegan Cookies (yes, I am obsessed with the 2 pack of Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies from Whole Foods in case you didn’t learn that yesterday.)

They are seriously the best. And yes, they’re vegan and don’t have much in them but I still probably shouldn’t consume them on a daily basis…Last week I think I had them 4 days out of 7…whoops. Although if you know me pretty well you would know that I never actually eat the cookie. Yes, I’m one of those weirdos who only pick out the chocolate chips to eat. I know. I’m a weirdo. As you get to know me you’ll realize I have a ton of weird eating habits. Picking things out of things is one of them. But…I digress.

So anyway, my breakfast consisted of a chocolate Shakeologly shake blended with a ½ of banana and a shitload of ice cubes…..not too bad! Got me through to oh, about 9:30am during which I could have my “Fiber Sweep” aka trying to swallow what I would imagine glue and woodchips would taste like if someone were to actually make a drink out of them. Oh and they oddly taste lemony. Not my favorite part of the day. Then again, no part of this cleanse has been my favorite. I am angry, I am irritable, I have wanted to quit about 10 times today. I feel fuzzy and foggy and I think it might have to do with the fact that every time I go to get my blood drawn they say I’m anemic. So I don’t know how good of an idea this cleanse was….but onward we go. I kept thinking in my head the scene in one of my favorite movies "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan when she says to Tom Hanks "My head feels fuzzy." haha



Lunch. A heaping cup of cucumbers, cantaloupe and a vanilla protein shake. Um…. Yeah. That’s the biggest meal of the day. 6pm rolls around…starving. Oh wait, I forgot to mention the 4 baby carrots I was allowed at about 3:30. How easy it is to forget about eating nothing. Back to 6pm. Best meal of the day in my opinion. Cauliflower, broccoli and carrots with coconut milk mixed in vegetable broth. Ok….not bad. Except… here it is 8pm and I’m starving again.

I can’t go through the night I went through last night. They say you’re supposed to get better sleep (uh, no) gain clarity (uh, double no) and feel good (oh, hell no!) Last night I barely slept and had dreams like I was on LSD.... clarity, yeah right…today my friend came in to talk to me and I swear to god I have no idea what was said during that conversation. He probably thought I WAS on LSD.... and feeling good? Uhhh right. I wanted to murder about 6 people today and now I just want to go to sleep.

But hey, silver lining… one more day right! One more day of this hell on earth that is the 3 day cleanse. Mind you, if I get on the scale on Wed and have lost 5-10 lbs I may be singing a different tune. Right now, I’m singing the tune of wanting to give the F up.

Plus, I miss working out and I sure as hell can’t do that on no sleep, a foggy head and feeling like I want to die. No thanks (hey, my endorsement makes you want to run right out and buy one right? Come on, I make a little commission...you can probably survive this longer than I.)

In fact, Steve is doing great, he has mental clarity and stepped on the scale this morning after ONE DAY and got some amazing results. I’m not going to share those results, that’s for him to do but Jesus Christ, if I get those results after 3 days I will be happy.

I am already thinking about what to eat on Wednesday…kind of defeats the purpose eh? But… I do know that after going through all of this I WILL NEVER WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN…therefore, I will adjust my eating and drinking habits so that I NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN. Did I mention I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN??

So there it is ….Day 2 in a nutshell. How I managed to find the energy in my fingers to type this blog I have no idea…dear god let some divine intervention take place and get me through Day 3….
Send me some motivation… please.

3 Day Refresh...commence!

Man, I'm a mess lately...first of all it's been a little over three months since I even gave this page a thought. And it's for a lot of reasons. A lot of things that have taken place over the past few months that kind of shook my world for a little bit. And, when things shake my world, naturally I turn to chocolate and alcohol like a lot of folks do. After all, I'm human. A human that likes chocolate. Lots and lots and lots of chocolate.... I have to say though, I HAVE been good with my workouts, consistently working out 5/6 days out of the week, mainly doing Les Mills Combat which I love. I recently started incorporating Les Mills Pump into my schedule and I gotta say, there's something very powerful about lifting weights. Not necessarily becoming more powerful because of lifting (although that’s awesome too) but more so becoming more powerful in the mind. There’s something about lifting weights that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. And when you can do one more rep than the day before, it gives you a confidence that has a ripple effect throughout your life. Needless to say I love Les Mills Pump. I just need to be mindful of the back at all times and make sure I don’t overdo it. So far, so good.

What is NOT so good is the number I saw on the scale this morning. Sure, it’s a number and people say don’t pay attention to the number but I can’t help it. That number helps me stay accountable. And, even though I’ve been working out, clearly my nutrition is not on point since I gained 8 lbs since I last weighed myself. Blah. A mind-f for sure. (I AM hoping though some of that has to do with my weekend indulgence of drinking both Friday and Saturday nights and eating things I normally don’t eat….we shall see.) But… it’s also a good thing I decided (before I weighed myself) to do the 3 day refresh and try to get things under control. So I HAD to weigh myself and take measurements on Day 1 so I can see what it does when I check back in on Wed after it’s over. Steve and I are both doing it together. Which is actually helpful because I probably would’ve given up once Parker’s Cheez-Its came out as a snack this evening. He is preparing everything I need to eat when which is also awesome because I don’t have to think about it, just do it. If I actually had to read the book and figure out what I needed to eat when, it wouldn’t have happened. My ADD brain would’ve given up at the first sign of “prepping things.”






Sooooo. I will not post my weight here, sorry, just can’t do it… a number I’m most definitely not comfortable with… but…I will post my waist at 29” and my hips at 39” … so we’ll see how many inches I lost when I retake those measurements on Wednesday.

Now, about Day 1. This isn’t easy. After having four glasses of wine at Parker’s auction last night I woke up slightly hung over, this is on top of the few beers I had on Friday night of which I woke up hung over Saturday morning. Getting older is a bitch let me tell you. 37 is right around the corner and I’m beginning to realize I’m not 21 anymore. Then again I knew that at about 30. 7 years later, I’m still pretending I can hang. Trust me, I can’t.

So anyway, hung over Courtney has a tri-fecta of foods she eats to help ease the pain. First thing, egg and cheese bagel from Dunks. Extra cheese, extra egg. Yes, you read that right. Second thing, an eggplant parm sandwich with, yup, you guessed it, extra eggplant, extra parm. Haha And finally, a nice big bowl of fro-yo with chocolate sprinkles, chocolate carob chips and cookie dough bites. Yup. The tri-fecta. For many years this has worked like a charm. So you can imagine my body’s surprise when I decided to go the exact opposite direction and start a 3 day cleanse. All of which consisted today of 900 calories…shakes, fruits and veggies. My dinner was a bowl of cauliflower, broccoli and carrots in veggie broth with a vanilla protein shake. (Which, to be honest, the veggie soup was reallllly good as it had coconut oil in it with a little sea salt.) The only thing missing? Like 2 more servings of it. haha

So, talk about a shock to the system. My body is crying out terribly for those three foods that make everything so much better…. But, if I want to jumpstart things and change that number on the scale, I need to do this. So, here I am preparing for The Walking Dead (I totally feel like I should be in that today) but hey, at least I’m 33 1/3% done.

Anyway, I’ll keep y’all posted on the progress. Debating on whether to weigh myself tomorrow morning to see what, if any, progress has taken place. Knowing my penchant for instant gratification though that might not be good for me. If I see that I didn’t lose anything or see that I gained the first day (a normal reaction for some people) I might get disillusioned and head to Whole Foods for a Vegan Cookie.

We’ll see how it goes…wish me luck. And I promise to start posting things more regularly as I try and take this fitness thing to the next level and try to conquer some demons. Putting it out there in the world make it that much more real and hopefully y'all will hold me a bit more accountable. (Like when I'm going to reach for that 5th glass of wine...thanks) ha

Court