Thursday, March 19, 2015

Leave me the hell alone...

That's me lately in a nutshell. I just want to be left alone. Wherever I am. I don't know if it's the weather since seasonal changes seems to affect my mood moreso than anything else but damn, I am irritable lately. I should be happy, I just lost 5.5 lbs in 3 days got back on the healthy eating track, worked out two days in a row (including today) so that leaves me with one question....where the hell are those endorphins?

But no...not me. I am not happy. In fact, after sitting down from my workout I am miserable. Writing this blog is annoying me. I intended to talk about my fitness goals and where I go from here...I guess I should get right to it, otherwise I'll be posting stuff like this:

Speaking of which, I NEED this shirt.

So fitness goals. I am going to amp up the cardio and hope to burn some fat. I'll keep doing Les Mills Combat which I love. Luckily, there are three versions I can rotate through. A 30 min for when I'm pressed for time, a 45 min one when I have a bit more time and a 60 min one when I'm feeling energetic and ambitions - I'll probably save those for the weekend. Thinking of doing 60 minutes after working all day and not starting until at least 8pm doesn't sound too appealing to me. And, forget working out in the morning. I have never been and will never be a morning person. Kudos to those who get up at 4:00am to get their workout in. For one thing, I'm a complete weirdo in that I would never be able to get up and just workout. I need coffee. I need a shower. Yes, a shower before I work out which then means I would have to shower again just 30 minutes later. Defeats the purpose I know but what can I say.

True story. There's a handful of people who know this. I have weird eating habits, I do weird things. Sue me. I'm me. Love me or leave me...the hell alone.

And we've come full circle to the title of this blog post.

Not much more to say really. I'm going to try to set up a meal plan for myself to follow. As much as I hated the 3 day refresh foods because I was so freakin hungry, I realize that having a plan really helped me keep on track. There was no, oh hey let me go buy a bag of trail mix and eat out the chocolate covered soy nuts. Or let me go to Boscov's and get some Chocolate Bridge Mix. My weakness lately. Bridge Mix. Who knew? Wanna know something else weird I do? I don't eat the nuts or raisins in the bridge mix (except for the chocolate covered almonds.) What do I do? I suck off the chocolate and put the nut in a bag. Steve can attest to this disgustingness. I do it with all chocolate really. Peanut butter cups? Eat around the peanut butter, throw away said peanut butter.

See. A little insight into my bizarro existence. But, mmm now I want bridge mix.
Luckily all I have to make here is a little sugar free pop and some PB2.

And with that, I'm going to do just that.


Monday, March 16, 2015

From Chaos Comes Clarity....

Or not.....

It is Day 2 and I am space cadet central.....

So we’re on Day 2 of this 3 Day Refresh. I gotta tell you, if I weigh myself on Wednesday and there is no change I am not going to be a happy camper. And then I will run to Whole Foods for Vegan Cookies (yes, I am obsessed with the 2 pack of Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies from Whole Foods in case you didn’t learn that yesterday.)

They are seriously the best. And yes, they’re vegan and don’t have much in them but I still probably shouldn’t consume them on a daily basis…Last week I think I had them 4 days out of 7…whoops. Although if you know me pretty well you would know that I never actually eat the cookie. Yes, I’m one of those weirdos who only pick out the chocolate chips to eat. I know. I’m a weirdo. As you get to know me you’ll realize I have a ton of weird eating habits. Picking things out of things is one of them. But…I digress.

So anyway, my breakfast consisted of a chocolate Shakeologly shake blended with a ½ of banana and a shitload of ice cubes…..not too bad! Got me through to oh, about 9:30am during which I could have my “Fiber Sweep” aka trying to swallow what I would imagine glue and woodchips would taste like if someone were to actually make a drink out of them. Oh and they oddly taste lemony. Not my favorite part of the day. Then again, no part of this cleanse has been my favorite. I am angry, I am irritable, I have wanted to quit about 10 times today. I feel fuzzy and foggy and I think it might have to do with the fact that every time I go to get my blood drawn they say I’m anemic. So I don’t know how good of an idea this cleanse was….but onward we go. I kept thinking in my head the scene in one of my favorite movies "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan when she says to Tom Hanks "My head feels fuzzy." haha

Lunch. A heaping cup of cucumbers, cantaloupe and a vanilla protein shake. Um…. Yeah. That’s the biggest meal of the day. 6pm rolls around…starving. Oh wait, I forgot to mention the 4 baby carrots I was allowed at about 3:30. How easy it is to forget about eating nothing. Back to 6pm. Best meal of the day in my opinion. Cauliflower, broccoli and carrots with coconut milk mixed in vegetable broth. Ok….not bad. Except… here it is 8pm and I’m starving again.

I can’t go through the night I went through last night. They say you’re supposed to get better sleep (uh, no) gain clarity (uh, double no) and feel good (oh, hell no!) Last night I barely slept and had dreams like I was on LSD.... clarity, yeah right…today my friend came in to talk to me and I swear to god I have no idea what was said during that conversation. He probably thought I WAS on LSD.... and feeling good? Uhhh right. I wanted to murder about 6 people today and now I just want to go to sleep.

But hey, silver lining… one more day right! One more day of this hell on earth that is the 3 day cleanse. Mind you, if I get on the scale on Wed and have lost 5-10 lbs I may be singing a different tune. Right now, I’m singing the tune of wanting to give the F up.

Plus, I miss working out and I sure as hell can’t do that on no sleep, a foggy head and feeling like I want to die. No thanks (hey, my endorsement makes you want to run right out and buy one right? Come on, I make a little can probably survive this longer than I.)

In fact, Steve is doing great, he has mental clarity and stepped on the scale this morning after ONE DAY and got some amazing results. I’m not going to share those results, that’s for him to do but Jesus Christ, if I get those results after 3 days I will be happy.

I am already thinking about what to eat on Wednesday…kind of defeats the purpose eh? But… I do know that after going through all of this I WILL NEVER WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN…therefore, I will adjust my eating and drinking habits so that I NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN. Did I mention I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN??

So there it is ….Day 2 in a nutshell. How I managed to find the energy in my fingers to type this blog I have no idea…dear god let some divine intervention take place and get me through Day 3….
Send me some motivation… please.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

3 Day Refresh...commence!

Man, I'm a mess lately...first of all it's been a little over three months since I even gave this page a thought. And it's for a lot of reasons. A lot of things that have taken place over the past few months that kind of shook my world for a little bit. And, when things shake my world, naturally I turn to chocolate and alcohol like a lot of folks do. After all, I'm human. A human that likes chocolate. Lots and lots and lots of chocolate.... I have to say though, I HAVE been good with my workouts, consistently working out 5/6 days out of the week, mainly doing Les Mills Combat which I love. I recently started incorporating Les Mills Pump into my schedule and I gotta say, there's something very powerful about lifting weights. Not necessarily becoming more powerful because of lifting (although that’s awesome too) but more so becoming more powerful in the mind. There’s something about lifting weights that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. And when you can do one more rep than the day before, it gives you a confidence that has a ripple effect throughout your life. Needless to say I love Les Mills Pump. I just need to be mindful of the back at all times and make sure I don’t overdo it. So far, so good.

What is NOT so good is the number I saw on the scale this morning. Sure, it’s a number and people say don’t pay attention to the number but I can’t help it. That number helps me stay accountable. And, even though I’ve been working out, clearly my nutrition is not on point since I gained 8 lbs since I last weighed myself. Blah. A mind-f for sure. (I AM hoping though some of that has to do with my weekend indulgence of drinking both Friday and Saturday nights and eating things I normally don’t eat….we shall see.) But… it’s also a good thing I decided (before I weighed myself) to do the 3 day refresh and try to get things under control. So I HAD to weigh myself and take measurements on Day 1 so I can see what it does when I check back in on Wed after it’s over. Steve and I are both doing it together. Which is actually helpful because I probably would’ve given up once Parker’s Cheez-Its came out as a snack this evening. He is preparing everything I need to eat when which is also awesome because I don’t have to think about it, just do it. If I actually had to read the book and figure out what I needed to eat when, it wouldn’t have happened. My ADD brain would’ve given up at the first sign of “prepping things.”


Sooooo. I will not post my weight here, sorry, just can’t do it… a number I’m most definitely not comfortable with… but…I will post my waist at 29” and my hips at 39” … so we’ll see how many inches I lost when I retake those measurements on Wednesday.

Now, about Day 1. This isn’t easy. After having four glasses of wine at Parker’s auction last night I woke up slightly hung over, this is on top of the few beers I had on Friday night of which I woke up hung over Saturday morning. Getting older is a bitch let me tell you. 37 is right around the corner and I’m beginning to realize I’m not 21 anymore. Then again I knew that at about 30. 7 years later, I’m still pretending I can hang. Trust me, I can’t.

So anyway, hung over Courtney has a tri-fecta of foods she eats to help ease the pain. First thing, egg and cheese bagel from Dunks. Extra cheese, extra egg. Yes, you read that right. Second thing, an eggplant parm sandwich with, yup, you guessed it, extra eggplant, extra parm. Haha And finally, a nice big bowl of fro-yo with chocolate sprinkles, chocolate carob chips and cookie dough bites. Yup. The tri-fecta. For many years this has worked like a charm. So you can imagine my body’s surprise when I decided to go the exact opposite direction and start a 3 day cleanse. All of which consisted today of 900 calories…shakes, fruits and veggies. My dinner was a bowl of cauliflower, broccoli and carrots in veggie broth with a vanilla protein shake. (Which, to be honest, the veggie soup was reallllly good as it had coconut oil in it with a little sea salt.) The only thing missing? Like 2 more servings of it. haha

So, talk about a shock to the system. My body is crying out terribly for those three foods that make everything so much better…. But, if I want to jumpstart things and change that number on the scale, I need to do this. So, here I am preparing for The Walking Dead (I totally feel like I should be in that today) but hey, at least I’m 33 1/3% done.

Anyway, I’ll keep y’all posted on the progress. Debating on whether to weigh myself tomorrow morning to see what, if any, progress has taken place. Knowing my penchant for instant gratification though that might not be good for me. If I see that I didn’t lose anything or see that I gained the first day (a normal reaction for some people) I might get disillusioned and head to Whole Foods for a Vegan Cookie.

We’ll see how it goes…wish me luck. And I promise to start posting things more regularly as I try and take this fitness thing to the next level and try to conquer some demons. Putting it out there in the world make it that much more real and hopefully y'all will hold me a bit more accountable. (Like when I'm going to reach for that 5th glass of wine...thanks) ha


Sunday, January 25, 2015

A lot has gone on these past six months....

Wow. 6 months have passed since my last blog post. That's kind of crazy but then again my life has been kind of crazy. I promise to get back to blogging more regularly and sharing my journey with y'all!
This time it's going to be more of a life journey than a weight loss/fitness journey. Of course that's a huge component of what I'm going to dedicate myself to but not entirely what I'm going to dedicate myself to. I vow to become a much better person, mom, wife, friend, overall better me. I feel like the past few months have really gotten me off track on who I am meant to be but I am dedicated to changing all of that and getting back on the straight and narrow and continuing down a path that I started to go down but somehow got sidetracked with everything.

Soooo much has gone on these past 6 months I'm not even sure where to begin. I had problems with my relationship, I have done some questionable things, I looked for a new job, got a new job, quit my job, hated my job, begged to come back to my job, came back to my job, lost weight, lost myself, gained some weight, lost myself some more, drank too much to deal with life, thought the grass was greener elsewhere, ate too much, ate too little, got drunk before a very important event, somehow pulled off a very important event.... I'm not even sure where to start. Sure, life is full of ups and downs but I need to find some type of balance and only I am responsible for creating that balance. So here's why I'm back blogging. To have you all to hold me accountable for creating the life I want to live. And it's so much more than the life I'm living now --- although it's getting better.

(Side note, 50 Shades of Grey preview just came on and I cannot wait to go see this movie...dying and counting down until the day it comes out in the theater!)

So bare with me, the next few blogs I'll fill you all in on what has happened the past 6 months... it's been a crazy ride. Then, on February 1st I'll weigh myself, take some measurements and share my fitness journey with everyone too. I just bought Les Mills Pump and excited to start lifting some weights and taking my body to the next level... I want to be a lean, mean dancing machine... more on that aspect of it later ;)

Until then, brace yourself for some highly entertaining stories, a snapshot of my life that past 6 months. Oh, you'll be entertained I'm sure.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Damn You Sangria....(I'm Exhausted!)

It's been awhile!
Life gets in the way of my blogging and then well, I don't blog. Sorry about that.
In the past week, my little man Parker turned 4 (omg) and we had a great party for him Saturday! The days leading up to it were crazy. We ended up at Wegmans 5 out of the last 6 days before the party, for what I don't know but we always found things we actually needed when there. I swear Wegmans puts some subliminal messaging in that kick ass music they play to make you want to come back for anything.

I mean. It's Wegmans. Educate yo'self.

So yeah, the planning was crazy. I luckily was able to get the Westampton Emergency Services Department to stop by the party with their trucks, the gear and their fire dalmatian Jake. They rolled up at our house and Parker was beyond elated. It was the perfect start to what would be the perfect party!

I won't get into too much about the party other than we were blessed with such great family and friends who came, it ended with a Mister Softee surprise and then the supermoon. Couldn't have been better if it was all planned. Amazing weekend, so sad for it to come to an end... but looking forward to what the rest of the summer is going to bring. More family, more friends. Bring it on Summer '14! Took a lot of pics which I'm sure you already all saw on Facebook. Pictures for me are still so awkward even though I'm starting to realize that I am looking better in them...better meaning, more fit, more healthy, and just more happy...although when everyone wants to take a pic of me it's usually me feeling like this!

In any event, bringing it back to the party a little bit, I did end up drinking two large red solo cups of Senor Sangria aka the devil disguised in a bottle.

Now if you read my post a few before this you'll realize alcohol never was my friend and it reaffirmed that this morning. Even though I only had two glasses I felt horrible this afternoon and ended up taking a one hour nap!! UGH. So I decided I should just be done with it all. What's the point? I gave it one more try but really, I've done enough of that. I've lived enough. So yeah, not happy about the slight hangover from Mr. Senor BUT, I will give myself props because at 9:00 I knew I had to get my workout in since yesterday was a "rest" day. Somehow I got through it. If you want something bad enough, you make it happen. I sweated it out, kicked and punched my way through it and feel so much better!! Wasn't not going to do anything two days in a row!

Anyway, good news, I'm down 5.6 lbs in 3 weeks and 2 INCHES OFF OF MY WAIST! Yes, TWO INCHES IN THREE WEEKS! I can't believe it. I actually took a picture of my leg today too because it just looked smaller. I think I'm on point to get the results people get from the 9 week Les Mills Combat workout. An average of 15 lbs and 24 inches?! I can't even imagine that, but I'm well on my way!

So I persevered and here I am. Exhausted, on the couch. Getting ready to watch the very exciting first episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey because well, I'm from NJ and it entertains me.

That's all I have for today! Tomorrow is a new day, another day to start fresh, to make the most of the week! Live it up right. Be kind. Be happy and live with a grateful heart!


PS: Have you followed the hubs amazing journey doing P90x3 and Shakeology? More than 31 lbs down and crazy body fat results!
Check it out:

Monday, July 7, 2014

I just ate about 10 lbs of tofu

So I have this unhealthy obsession with the tiny little triangle pieces of tofu at Whole Foods. Thank GOD whole foods is a good 20 minutes away from us otherwise I'd be ordering $10.50 salads every night. Today, I wasn't feeling myself and was craving those tiny little pieces of goodness so I subtly let the troops know and as soon as I got home from work we jumped in the car and headed over.

(Side note: I didn't even take a picture of it for this blog because I inhaled it so fast.)

But if you're familiar with the Whole Foods Salad Bar, you know what I'm talking about. That and a little cabbage crunch and it's heaven in a little cardboard container. But I seriously think I put in about 10 lbs of tofu and proceeded to each every. single. piece.

In the back of my head I was thinking, well it's a rest day, I'll just walk it off on the treadmill, no jumping around with Les Mills Combat tonight. WRONG. I misread the schedule and I have to somehow jump around and kick with what feels like a rock of tofu in my stomach doing 30 minute combat. Thank god it's only 30 minutes. If I saw a "6-0" I might've thrown in the towel. So, instead, I'm procrastinating writing this blog.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a fabulous 4th of July. I stayed right on track with my diet, bringing my own food to a bbq on Saturday and making sure I got that dreaded 60 minute combat workout in before the party. I did have a half of glass of sangria at the party but that's all I needed! I even drove my family home. Can't remember the last time someone wasn't carting my ass home from a party like that. Things have changed. For the better.

Gearing up for another party on Saturday-my "baby's" 4 year old birthday. FOUR. I can't even believe it. Crazy how much time flies. Feels like four years ago when it was this day and I was a week late ready to pop and have my sweet pea already! And now here it is, FOUR years later and he's getting ready to go to pre-k in the fall. Unreal.

It's also a year that I herniated my disc so bad I was out of work, working from home for 3 months on my back on the couch.

The disc was so herniated, oozing out and pressing on the nerve I couldn't walk - every time I tried I would collapse in pain. After months of trying "conservative" methods including PT, pain meds, an inversion table, acupuncture, I opted to go under the knife and wouldn't you know it, I walked right out of the hospital. Rothman Institute was a godsend and gave me my life back. It was such a hard time in my life. I couldn't play with my son, I couldn't do normal things like getting dressed and walking downstairs, I couldn't do anything at all. Taking a shower made me want to give up on life and there were times I wondered if my life would ever be the same. I was in a dark, dark, dark, dark place. I can't emphasize dark enough.

And here I am almost a year to the day, kicking ass and taking names with Les Mills Combat. So if you have what I had, don't give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel however dim it may be now! I remember crying practically every day from the pain and the situation and yet, still somehow I was able to work as if I was in the office (much to my mother's dismay!) But I was able to still rock it even with all the pressure of getting stuff done for the sales conference and now here I am a year later, getting ready for it now and can't wait for a much different experience this time. What a difference a year makes! I have more pics I need to track down from that unbelievable experience but I think it was on a computer that crashed...I'll have to see what I can track down.

OH and to update you on the actual weight loss/inches lost: I lost an inch and a half off of my waist so far in 2 weeks - down 5 lbs! 20 more to go! I got this!

I guess I should go throw some workout clothes and get it over with. Although once that music starts pumping and they start motivating me I know I'll put my all into it!

Until tomorrow!